A Beautiful Mother Poem

MOTHER

(thanks to marriagemarkers for this award)

This is a truly BEAUTIFUL piece.
Please read this at a slow pace,
digesting every word and in leisure...
Do not hurry....this is a treasure...

For those lucky to still be blessed with your Mom,this is beautiful.
For those of us who aren't,this is even more beautiful.
For those who are moms,you'll love this.

The young mother set her footon the path of life.'Is this the long way?' she asked.And the guide said: 'Yes,and the way is hardAnd you will be old beforeyou reach the end of it..But the end will be betterthan the beginning.'

But the young mother was happy,and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children,and gathered flowers for them along the way,and bathed them in the clear streams;and the sun shone on them,and the young Mother cried, 'Nothing will ever be lovelier than this.'

Then the night came,and the storm, and the path was dark,and the children shook with fear and cold,and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle,and the children said, 'Mother, we are not afraid,for you are near, and no harm can come.'

And the morning came,and there was a hill ahead,and the children climbed and grew weary,and the mother was weary.But at all times she said to the children, 'A little patience and we are there.' So the children climbed,and when they reached the top they said,'Mother, we would not have done it without you.'

And the mother, when she lay down at nightlooked up at the stars and said,'This is a better day than the last,for my children have learned fortitudein the face of hardness.Yesterday I gave them courage.Today, I've given them strength.'

And the next day came strange cloudswhich darkened the earth,clouds of war and hate and evil,and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said: 'Look up. Lift your eyes to the light.'And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said, 'This is the best day of all,for I have shown my children God.'

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years,and the mother grew old and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was rough,they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And mother said, 'I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning,for my children can walk alone, and their children after them.' And the children said, 'You will always walk with us, Mother,even when you have gone through the gates.' And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said: 'We cannot see her but she is with us still.

A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence.......
'Your Mother is always with you.... She's the whisper of the leavesas you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well.
Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop. She's the place you came from, your first home; and she's the map you followwith every step you take. She's your first love and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you.

Not time, not space... not even death!

Beautiful Mom Award started by Posh Post.

I am tagging the beautiful mothers here: Susan, Brenda Susan, Nancy, Meggie, Mrs. H, Missy, Cari, Abe, and Paige, Armchair Housewife, and my mom (gosh... I miss her!)

STAY OPEN…

This morning I watched Joel Osteen’s preaching and his topic was “Trust God to do it HIS WAY”. All throughout his message, he kept repeating 2 words, STAY OPEN.
It got me reflecting on my very own life, and here’s what I’ve realized.

In 1994, I was given an option to take a higher scholarship grant if I would major in Education, rather than Engineering. I didn’t take the offer mainly because I NEVER WANTED TO BE A TEACHER, so I thought. But God slowly changed my heart for years. He allowed me to lead Bible studies, worked in companies where I had to teach, lead me to teaching preschoolers then to the Koreans. Little did I know that He’s been preparing me for a teaching Job here in China.

When I was in my college years, I thought, I didn’t want to work away from home because I don’t think I’d survive. But in 1999, I was offered a job in Hitachi, Laguna. My prayer that time was, “Close the door anytime you want me out God. But if you want me in there, then let me pass the interview with the HR Manager.” So even if there was still a panel interview with the Japanese when we reach Laguna, I didn’t fear, I already knew I’d make it. So I did. Life away from home wasn’t easy, that was my first time. It took me months to recover from the sadness, yet I survived. Little did I know that He’s been preparing me for a life away from the comforts of home here in China.

When EJ was still inside my tummy, I prayed that God will give him a Chinese community to grow in. I didn’t know HOW that would be possible because there weren’t any Chinese in Laguna, so I thought. But in 2005, God called Joey to work in China, so I had to go back to Bacolod, stay with Joey’s parents – Chinese parents; who attend a Chinese church. That was the first Chinese community EJ and I had. But right now, God didn’t only give us a Chinese community, He gave us CHINA itself.

On and on I can write situations where God had to change my heart and MY THOUGHTS to align to His heart and HIS THOUGHTS. I know my decisions were not faultless, but He has strung the pieces of my life together in spite the imperfections. I may have fallen several times, but each time I fell, I learned lessons I never would have realized had I not taken those steps. After all, we're like "EJ's" who runs and tips over, but runs again.

I have come to understand that I can not put God in a box. I can’t expect Him to answer my prayers in ways that I want, in the timeframe I prefer or in a place where I’m comfortable. His thoughts are higher, His ways are better, His plans are perfect.

In Isaiah 55:8 God declares, “FOR MY THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS, NEITHER ARE YOUR WAYS MY WAYS.”

I may not always understand now, but in the future, I will. Just as He prepared me for where I am right now, I believe He is preparing me for where He wants me to be in the time to come.
By the way, this preparation isn’t just about me…I believe God is preparing our whole family to where He wants us to be in the days, months, years, decades and centuries to come. The best that I can do right here right now is to STAY OPEN and TRUST GOD TO DO IT HIS WAY.

June 26, 2007

CHAPTER 5: WHAT HEPA TAUGHT ME

I always believe that everything we go through in life has a reason and behind those reasons are lessons that we need to learn. From this Hepatitis A experience, I have a great deal of realizations and revelations that I want to share. Some of which are only for myself but some, I’m sure you readers will benefit from. Just treat it like you would when eating a fish – eat the meat and throw the bones. Here goes…

a) I need to take care of myself and this should be a conscious decision. As much as I would want to be the Perfect wife, Perfect mom and Perfect teacher – I can’t. I can only be the best that I can be without compromising my health. I have to sleep early, do regular exercise, drink my supplements and not over work. I needed to repent for this because I have forgotten the fact that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and that I should take really good care of it.
b) I understood how important the LIVER is to our over-all health. Gosh, I never knew that this liver is the most hardworking organ in the body – it’s like a manufacturing plant and a storage area doing more than 500 functions vital for our survival. I am so blessed with the websites that gave detailed information of how to take good care of our liver, the detoxification process and a whole lot more!
c) Sad as it may seem, our ignorance and/or negligence and/or hard-headedness will eventually comeback to us. Hihi… I need not go to the details but sometimes, I admit I’m just that – ignorant and hard-headed (stubborn can also be a word to describe that). But it’s okay, I learned things the hard way, but still, I learn. All I can say is if you have HEPA, REST should be your topmost priority. Define rest? Just watch TV - stay on the bed. Just stand when you need to pee or poo or eat. And eat lots of water and vitamin C.
d) Motherhood chooses no season. In sickness or in health, you just can’t stop being a mother. My doctor demanded that I take a bed rest and not do any taking care of the baby stuff, but when mama Mary went back to Bacolod, I had no other option but to take care of my EJ – bathe him, feed him, send him to school and do other stuff a mother and a wife does. Yes I was able to take a sick leave from being a teacher, but NOT from being a wife, much more NOT from being a mother.
e) OFW life isn’t easy – never easy at all. Yes we earn more than the rest of the family, but in times like these, I wish I were back home with all the comforts and care of the family and friends. Yes we do enjoy the benefits of having more (financially) but we do have our share of sleepless nights and painful days. On the other hand though, I can agree with what the Philippine government says that the modern day heroes are the OFW. It takes a lot of sacrifice and courage being one!

I thank God for friends and family He sent to help our family (Joey, me and EJ) to go through this chapter of our life. In my book (soon to be published, hihi) you’ll have your page. Even family and friends from afar, who prayed and chatted with me, thank you for praying and keeping in touch.

I believe I’m getting better everyday. This sickness wasn’t meant to stay. I won’t even let it rob my joy. I have decided to eat right, drink my medicines and have a happy attitude. Of course I have to choose to be happy. But it’s ok. That’s why God gave us free will – so we can choose what we want to happen. I choose life. I choose joy. I choose healing. All by the grace of God!

May 5, 2008

CHAPTER 4: EJ’S VISIT

I slept at the hospital since Wednesday night and since then, I wasn’t able to see EJ. It’s a miracle that I was able to survive not holding him – although it was really hard and so much tears shed, I survived. EJ coped too. In the morning Joey would take care of him and send him off to school at around 10:30am. After school, his auntie Imee would pick him up and prepare dinner for him. Then his auntie Cathy would be there at around 7pm. Joey visits me before he goes to work and after work at night. Usually he eats lunch and dinner here with me. So since Wednesday I wasn’t able to hug my darling son. So Joey told me on Saturday, they’ll visit me. I just live each day by talking to him the moment he wakes up and before he goes to bed.

Saturday came and I took a bath early that morning and made sure my I.V. will finish early so when EJ’s here, I don’t have it anymore. By the way, everyday I have to have my I.V. for around 5-6hrs each day. They put it on everyday and when it’s done, take it out. So if you can see my hands now, it has those little holes in them! Grr… I don’t like that! It even got dislodged last time (on my left hand) so for a couple of days, I had to have my I.V. on my right hand which made me so uncomfortable because my left hand is untrained to do things. Oh well, just had to go through with this. As long as I’m in here, just need to submit to their expertise.

Going back to EJ… Well they came here around 12:30pm and when I saw him, he was all smiles and said “MAMA….” Even if he had his mask on, I saw his eyes smiling so sincerely and so happy. Well, if you know me, you know me well, you can tell my eyes were flooded with tears! I still had my I.V. on and we still haven’t asked the doctor if it’s ok for me to hug him. So all I could do was look at him, talk and play with him from a distance (around 2 feet distance). He was on the other bed actually. The hurting part was when he started to ask if he could sit on my lap and go to my bed. I wanted so much to hug him kiss him and play with him. But I can’t! It’s a terrible feeling not being able to express physically your love for your baby. I could tell he really missed my hugs and kisses.

At around 1:30pm my I.V. was removed and so we had some play time. Then a doctor came and we asked him if I could hold EJ. He said YES!!! As long as I don’t kiss him and EJ washed his hands after. Oh my God!!! I was so excited!!! So I hugged him really tight and of course again, tears, tears and more tears! With the doctor, teacher Cathy and auntie Cathy in the room, it was like they were watching a heavy drama and I was the best actress! Hihi… EJ was very sleepy already so I put him to sleep. Oh God it felt so gooooooood to finally have my baby in my arms. The moment he fell asleep Joey got him and put him to bed.

After 2 hours of deep sleep, we woke him up so they could go home. When he left, he just said, “Goodbye Mama”… The moment they walked out the door, of course again, tears, tears and more tears rolled down my cheeks. I guess when God gave tears away, I was at the front row so I got a whole bunch of them!

Well anyway, the night ended with more tears on my pillow. But those weren’t tears of desperation but rather tears of a mother missing her son and telling her father in heaven about it. Actually at night, I sleep declaring my healing in Jesus’ name because I believe I only have lessons to learn and this sickness will go away. I believe that by the stripes of Jesus I am healed. So I just need to declare it, believe it and I shall have it.

March 25, 2008

CHAPTER 3: IT’S HEPATITIS A!

Now that I have my room, I can have my privacy, I can have visitors and of course, I can take a bath!!! I can’t imagine being confined in the hospital for weeks and not having to take a bath. Oh my! Sure glad I have this room…

Ok. This is the day that we found out that what I have is HEPATITIS A. If you ask how I got it, it’s kinda gross and I hate it! Just do your own research ok? But on the lighter side, this is the kind that’s easy to cure. Actually I just need rest and proper nutrition so my body can fight of the virus because there’s really no medicine for this. But I need to stay in the hospital because if I’m at home, I won’t be able to have that rest because I need to take care of EJ and do other house works. So the plan is, we wait for my mother-in-law to be here and I’ll get out.

Teacher Cathy was with me this day and the doctors came and asked questions. She became my translator. But aside from the fact she translated for me, she was also someone I can talk comfortably with. We talked about my love story and we had a good sharing time, just like real friends.

Night time came – teacher Cathy left and it was Joey’s turn. He told me that Joseph told him they fear teacher Cathy might get infected and that she had to go on with her teaching English at Speedy Tech. It was sad because starting Friday, I would be alone the whole day. At around 9pm Joey had to go home to take care of EJ. When he left, loneliness crept in. It’s the thought that if I were back home (in Bacolod) I wouldn’t be alone. Family and friends will be there to visit, stay with me and chat. I can watch TV, I can use the phone and I can do all sorts of stuff. But here, I’m all alone.

But in my being alone, I got to realize a lot of things. This is a situation that I need to go through because I need to grow up. I am forced to grow up. At night when I sleep, to make sure my thoughts are filled with good things, I turn on my phone and listen to the worships songs I have. That way I sleep feeding myself with thoughts on how great my God is and that I am not alone, He’s with me, He loves me and that He will take care of me. I also remember my mom. A lot of times in Bacolod she would choose to be alone in the hospital. She became my “model” thinking that if she was able to survive it, then definitely I will. But thinking of her makes me miss her so much. I know that if mama were here, she would be absent from work and make sure she takes care of me. But then again, we’re not together. So I had to tell myself to be strong, go to sleep and know that God will make sure everything will be alright.

March 25, 2008