I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a teacher and a friend.I have needs as well as wants, dreams as well as frustrations..I am simply ME =) but most importantly, I am an individual who believes in the goodness of my creator no matter what the circumstance...
July 4th around 4pm, Joey called me and said these words: YOUR APPLICATION FOR WORK PERMIT WAS DENIED. The very first thing that came out of my mouth was, WHY?! Then he told me it was due to technical reasons. Then he asked me to ask help from some of the people we know because he was very busy at work. The moment I put down the phone, tears began to roll down my cheeks… I immediately remembered that our request for extension will expire 21st of July, which was 2 days from EJ’s birthday. If my work permit will not be approved, then we would have to go back to the Philippines. I hugged EJ and prayed, LORD, DON’T TAKE AWAY HIS FATHER FROM HIM ON HIS BIRTHDAY. Then I looked EJ in the eyes and told him, DON’T WORRY BABY, GOD WILL MAKE SURE, YOU AND PAPA WILL BE TOGETHER ON YOUR BIRTHDAY. EJ then said, NO CRY MAMA, NO CRY. I wiped my tears and started to call people we know who could help us. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to help so I had to wait for the HR Manager’s decision.
That night, I felt very sad, but I made sure Joey and EJ didn’t feel it because I don’t want them to feel I’ve lost hope. So that night went just like the normal night we’ve always had. But in my heart, I was praying and asking God not to take away the joy EJ & Joey feels when they’re together. Not now, not ever. Separation is NOT AN OPTION anymore.
I woke up early the next morning, inspite the fact that I slept nearly 2am. The moment I opened my eyes, there was this song in my thoughts: I WILL BE STILL KNOW YOU ARE GOD. I heard that song lately from one of Joel Osteen’s service, but I didn’t know the other lyrics of that song. So the moment Joey went to work, I got up and had my quiet time. I looked for that song and I found it.
The lyrics go like this:
WHEN THE OCEANS RISE AND THUNDERS ROAR I WILL SOAR WITH YOU ABOVE THE STORM FATHER YOU ARE KING OVER THE FLOOD I WILL BE STILL KNOW YOU ARE GOD.
Over and over I sang those lines to myself and I felt an unexplainable peace. It’s a peace KNOWING in my heart that God will make a way when there seems to be no way. It’s the kind of peace that tells me with God, nothing is impossible. It’s the kind of peace that I was able to KNOW in my heart, that no matter what happens, EJ will have his father with him on his birthday. I worshipped God and I know the battle was won, even if at that time, I held nothing in my hands. I just know in my heart, everything’s going to be alright!
To make the long story short, my WORK PERMIT was approved and just today, our RESIDENCE VISA was released and APPROVED!!! This means we can be a FAMILY for the WHOOOOLE YEAR!!! God works in mysterious ways. Miracles happen to those who believe.
But through this experience, this is what I learned: PRAISE IS SPONTANEOUS WHEN THINGS GO RIGHT BUT IT IS PRECIOUS WHEN OCEANS RISE AND THUNDERS ROAR.
March 3, 2005, my husband and I had a little “lover’s quarrel”. The topic? Hmm... When I go back to Bacolod City, where will I stay? With my parents or with his parents? Big question. Hard to answer.
Joey was hired to work in China and with that, we have decided we both needed to leave Laguna. Yes, he’s the one going to China but I too need to resign, because I was pregnant with our first baby. All our families are in Bacolod so for my safety and his peace of mind, somebody has to make sure I’ll be fine while he’s away. Now the hardest decision we needed to settle on was “WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF MARICAR? MARICAR’S PARENTS OR JOEY’S PARENTS?” Had I not been pregnant that time, I would have gone fasting while praying! But since I were, I decided to take one day leave from work, pray and resolve this issue.
My husband and I have always made compromises whenever we face conflicting ideas. We try to meet half way or just agree to disagree if there’s no middle ground. But this time, there seems to be neither half-way nor can we agree to disagree. It’s either I stay with HIS parents or MY parents. Joey is Chinese and as such, it is their culture that the woman stays with the husband’s family, so his stand is – JOEY’S PARENTS SHOULD TAKE CARE OF MARICAR AND THE BABY WHILE HE’S AWAY. But you see, I’m a Filipina and as such, it is my culture that I stay with my biological parents while my husband is away, so my stand – MARICAR’S PARENTS SHOULD TAKE CARE OF HER AND THE BABY WHILE JOEY’S AWAY.
Strong-willed as I may be, I’ve always desired submitting to my husband because I know he loves me very much. And somehow my guiding principle was, if his will crosses my will and we can’t agree, I’ll submit. But this time, it’s just so hard to bend. Not because I dislike his parents. But it’s because I never had the chance to know them when we were boyfriends and even after we got married. From the time we graduated college until we became husband and wife, we were in Laguna. Aside from that, I wasn’t born yesterday. Stories about wife and mother-in-law or wife and sister-in-law are never exciting. There’s always that “scary” part.
How did we resolve the matter? I PRAYED, really PRAYED. When we got married, one line in my marriage vow that I said was “I shall submit to you as to the Lord. I shall respect your authority as the head of our family”. God brought me to that day I made my vow and so with that, I surrendered my will. Not because I felt Joey was right, but because I trusted the authority that God gave him as the head of our household.
That night when Joey came home from work, I hugged him and told him that I’m staying with his parents. I only requested for one thing, that my in-laws will allow my mother to stay with me for 2 weeks after I give birth. He said yes. Then we called his parents and told them I’m staying with them.
Now here I am, after 2 years of being with my in-laws… I’m glad to tell you that my husband made a wise decision. My in-laws have really been a blessing to my son Elisha and me. I not only have extra hands when I’m tired, but my son gets extra love, and that’s what I’m really thankful for. My mother-in-law and my sister-in-law have somehow become my best companions in raising EJ. They’ve become my best friends. My father-in-law and brothers-in-law stood as Elisha's male role models in the absence of Joey. I’m sure glad I chose to submit to my husband, even when I didn’t feel like it. You should too.
It was around 6:00pm yesterday while I was washing EJ’s bottle, when I saw the Chinese in their long sleeves and tie (men) and high-heeled shoes (women) walking home from work. Then suddenly a thought came into my mind… “Good for them, their day’s already over…Here I am, still working – as a full time homemaker, working 24 / 7.” Then I asked myself, “Is this really the kind of life I want?” To my surprise, that familiar still small voice whispered inside of me with these lines,
“Up to this point, do you still think it’s all about YOU? Do you still think you matter more than what you’re purposed to do? Is it what you want that really matters or is it what you will leave behind?
Those lines woke me up and reminded me that it’s not about me but it’s what I’m called to do, what I’m purposed to do. It’s hard to surrender, it’s difficult to trust, it’s not easy to let go of the steering wheel…but I will.
When I received Jesus into my life, He didn’t come in just as my savior, He came in as my LORD too, and as such, He deserves to be in the driver’s seat. He deserves to be the President of my heart and not just a resident. So with this, let me rephrase my question…
“Lord, is this the kind of life you want for me?”
If the answer is YES, I would gladly be a fulltime homemaker, in a strange land (China) and it won’t matter if I work round-the-clock, as long as I’m doing what He has called me to do. I will raise up a great son, who will be His ambassador.
And allow me to answer the questions that I believe God is asking me…
“Forgive me Lord for thinking it’s about ME… What I’m purposed to do and what I will leave behind is more important than what I want to do.”
God knows what’s best, and I believe where He wants me, is where He will put me. May it be in school, at home or in anywhere else, it won’t matter. I have decided in my heart, that I will trust and obey.
I want to leave behind a legacy to my son – a legacy of obedience to the call of the FATHER; a legacy of trusting an unknown future to a known God; a legacy that declares: IT’S NOT ABOUT ME, IT’S ABOUT HIM.
It’s all about YOU, Jesus And all this is for YOU For YOUR glory and YOUR fame It’s not about me, as if you should do things my way YOU alone are God and I surrender To YOUR WILL.